Ode to Fambly....

When I was a kid I would always ask my mother for a sister. Not because there was anything wrong with my brother (well, I say that NOW) - but because I wanted one to play with, have things in common with, talk to, and perhaps be close to. At the time they just said no, but later when I learned what the words "hysterectomy" and "menopause" meant - I realized that it really was a final decision. While I never got a real, biological sister - I was able to marry into a family where there are several of them. Sisters, sisters in law, and even nephews! (Something I did not have before!) It has all been a bit new, and with the distance between Justin's family and
myself I have not really gotten to know any of them too well, except one. Justin has one older brother named Troy - the only family member I have really not met due to timing issues. On the other hand, I have been able to meet his wife, once, right before Christmas. We had talked a few times before that via email and gotten along well. It was great to get to meet her, even though it was for a short period of time. I wish that I could see her on a daily basis, but that is not going to get to be anytime soon (to my dismay). Not too long after we met she left for Germany, but I will explain that later.

***

This morning I was at work and my sister in law called me from Germany. I was in the middle of running my mice, but my undergraduates were there and plenty in charge. Thus I snuck across the hall into the conference room for a chat. A nice break, to talk to a nice friend. We do not get to talk a ton because of the distance and I really loved the call. It was a rough week and a great pickup - that I really needed. Let me tell you about my sister in law. Her husband was deployed about the same time that Justin was. I was thinking that I had a hard time when Justin left, and I am not saying that having a husband in Iraq is easy - but I have been very impressed by the way my sister in law has been able to take care of herself and her beautiful children. For those of you who do not know I have always found it impressive when people are able to take care of their families so selflessly. Moms are amazing people. My Mom was at home to raise me, and that was really the only thing that kept me out of real trouble. Not everyone is afforded this luxury - I was lucky to have good parents who took care of me no matter what their circumstances.

***

I may not have any children, but having been a bit of a brat as a child myself I know that caring for even the best children on a day to day basis can be trying and sorely under appreciated. Just keeping my brother and I alive was a full time job. My sister in law has four boys, one of which is only a few months old (and very cute). A year ago she was living and working in Oklahoma with her husband, and then three children. It was around then that Troy had the feeling that it was time for him to make a career change, and join the Army. I know when it was first mentioned to Chris (my sister in law) she thought he was nuts. But after some fervent prayer and consideration they knew it was the right thing - despite any "practical evidence" to the contrary. This type of faith is something I have not been able to do in my life, but wish for above all things. Having enough faith in my husband and Heavenly Father's plan for me that if a change is right I like this one was) that no matter how strange it seems, I would know it was the right move for us.

***

Soon, Troy was off to basic training. (This was around the time of our wedding in Denver, which is why we have not met.) For the first extended time she had her children and work, along with moving to Colorado to do. There she would be close to family, and hopefully the duty station that Troy would be assigned to. She also found out around then that she was pregnant, with Oliver. The kids got settled into school in Denver, Troy graduated from Basic and AIT, and then he received his assignment: GERMANY for three years. This was a mixed thing. If you are overseas you are less likely to get deployed, but well...you are far from family. The plan: stay in the states until the baby is born, the move to Germany.

***

Well, we all know what happens when you make plans: deployment orders. Troy would be headed to Iraq in April-ish. Since you cannot travel with a child until they are two months old that would leave only two months with her husband, and for the children to spend with their dad before he left. New plans: at 8 months pregnant, get tickets and move three children to

Germany! All I have to say is: wow, I am related to SuperWoman. :)

***

Not long after, Troy left. In less than a year Chris went from living and working in Oklahoma to essentially being a geographically single mother of four in Germany. This is something that I would never have the strength or courage to accomplish. Now Troy has been gone three weeks (like Justin). She is someone I can really talk to about this, as she understands it so well. Chris has a ton more on her plate than I do, but I always find comfort in her advice. I have not known her for long, but she always tells me what I need to hear. This week, the kidos have been sick, and so has Chris - but when she called today she wanted to know how I was doing. It was the FIRST thing she asked. Yes, we both followed with a venting session, but the first thing she did was think of me. We both have husbands who are deployed, and I do not think that it is a coincidence. Not to be sappy, but I think I have finally found that sister I kept asking my parents for - I was only looking in the wrong place. :) I just hope that one day I can be half the mother, wife, and person that she is. If I can do that - I think I will be pretty well off.