You are yet another year older, and perhaps another wiser. Throughout the past 28.5 years there have been many things that you have taught me. In tribute, I thought I would try to share those:
1) Spreadsheets always add up both in columns, and lines if you do them right.
2) Catching a softball with your glove turned to the top will undoubtedly lead to another bloody nose.
3) No, it is not worth arguing with Mom. She is always right.
4) Pretending not to hear most conversations in the household can be advantageous.
5) Naps can always be taken while watching television in the recliner.
6) Golf is "a sport". The cart should NOT go over 20 MPH, even if it DOES. Stay on the path, or fairway. If you run into something, keep going and pretend it did not happen.
7) You will not alwys be able to use a calculator.
8) Hire a teenager while they know everything.
9) Put up with teenagers because eventually they might produce grandchildren.
10) Anniversaries can be celebrated even if you do not agree on the day of the wedding.
11) Agreeing not to tell Mom really just means you would get in trouble too.
12) Hunting for Christmas presents is entirely fair, as long as you are blatant about it. Leave it out after you find it. Sometimes, start wearing it.
13) Mom hiding cookies is really like a treasure hunt. She WANTS you to find them.
14) Ice cream can be eaten out of the tub, as long as you are in a recliner in front of the TV.
15) Perry Mason is the only thing to watch at lunchtime.
16) True terror can happen when one decided to NOT turn on the lights when getting up at night for water. Always speak to those who do not see you.
17) Just because you have your own cat does not mean you like them. You just happen to like THAT one.
18) Saying "Daddy" in just the right tone increases my chances of getting what I want, yet decreases Bubby's.
19) "Keep you chicken wing up!"
20) Drive-throughs are of the Devil. Go in to get your food, it will prove to be faster.
21) The best parking spot is always furthest from the door, and takes 20 minutes to find.
22) Accountants are nomads.
23) Send your children to college. Make them both doctors. Let them pay for your retirement. Live the life you would like to become accustom to.
24) Always ask for money when calling home, you may get lucky.
25) It is not unmanly to carry Mom's purse. It is just a way to embarrass the children.
1 comment:
This was so sweet and funny. Happy belated to your dad!
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